“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I think it is pretty safe to say that most couples tend to swear by the idea of a regular date-night to keep their relationship on track. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for a number of years, regular dates are an important part of any romantic relationship. All healthy relationships require that you spend quality time together talking, listening, and simply enjoying life together. That’s not to say that all of the other little moments you and your spouse share together aren’t just as important – but a little time to focus on your relationship will only help to strengthen those experiences.
If you or your spouse work long hours (I know my husband does), and/or once you factor kids into the equation, it’s easy for dates to become few and far between. But purposely setting aside some alone time just for you and your spouse to enjoy together can play a huge part in ensuring that your marriage stays healthy and strong. It has certainly played a huge part in the health of our marriage, and here’s why…
It keeps the romance alive
Spending time alone with your spouse will help to keep that spark burning, and help remind you of why you fell for one another in the beginning.
Shows your spouse that they are a priority to you
Setting aside time specifically for your spouse lets them know that they are a priority in your life. Date night says to them “you are special to me, and you are worth my time.”
Keeps communication open
There are so many distractions in our everyday lives that can hinder our communication. Date night gives us the opportunity to have honest conversations with our spouses. You also get the opportunity to learn something new about your spouse. I once heard a pastor say that you should learn something new about your spouse regularly. By communicating with your spouse one on one, with no distractions, you get to learn new things about each other.
It breaks the monotony
Oftentimes, we get caught up in the day to day routine of things – work, bills, kids, etc. Dating helps keep you both engaged and it gives you something else to look forward to. Regular dates will break the routine that all married couples tend to fall into. It will also breathe new life into your marriage, and help to grow your relationship with one another.
Let’s face it, dating is fun! Whether you are getting dressed up for a night on the town, or if you are spending the evening at home together, date night is always a lot of fun, simply because you are spending it with the one you love.
Date night doesn’t have to be expensive either. As a matter of fact, you can plan a wonderful date at home with your spouse without having to spend a dime (I’ll be doing a post on that soon). Keep in mind that the quality of your date has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of money that you spend, but more so with how attentive you are to your spouse when the two of you are alone.
People who have great marriages have great marriages on purpose. Your marriage has to be your absolute top priority, meaning it comes before the kids, before your job, before your extended family, before your hobbies. Marriage comes first! If you make sure that your marriage is a priority, everything else will fall into its proper place.
Great marriages don’t just happen, they require work, and both spouses have to be intentional when it comes to doing the necessary work to make their marriage great.